vivicas-dollhouse:

And i shit you not the pasta was creepy

sioltach:

sioltach:

Person in the grocery store had amazon rainforest sounds blasting on their phone as they shopped and I think that’s a beautiful use of free will

“people who don’t wear headphones in public are a nuisance” except this one. I respect their indomitable human spirit

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

64mpg:

64mpg:

my meds are ketchup and fork water

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time to take your ketchup and fork water

italiandivorce:

italiandivorce:

a couple months ago i got a job selling cheese and something about my work environment makes me come across noticably gayer. could not tell you why. something inherently faggy about the cheese business

today the world’s most heterosexual man comes up like “hey my wife wants me to pick up a soft spreadable cheese. like maybe a goat cheese” and i was like “well these are our chevres. but there’s this LOVELY lavender fennel goat cheese by cypress grove if you’re feeling zesty. are you feeling zesty” and he was like “…i am. i am feeling zesty” like the idea of feeling zesty had only just now occured to him

alivehouse:

motherfucker. wait 3 dangerous crow jobs??

konoko:

mousegirlheart:

skittybotbutt:

skittybotbutt:

mousegirlheart:

what flavour is blue powerade? mountain blast? that’s not a real flavour.

they call me powrerade the way i mount and blast

im sorry

never apologise for living your truth

swan2swan:

worldheritagepostorganization:

trannykong:

teaboot:

timugamaileilani:

teaboot:

autisticexpression:

teaboot:

I’ve discovered the worst game in human history. I call it Dog Toy Or Sex Toy, who wants in

How would this even be challenging? Are there dick-shaped chew toys?

Round One

Dog toy

Wrong! That is the Cloud 9 Novelties Silicone Mushroom Massager in Teal.

Round Two:

D-dog…toy?

World Heritage Post

The fear in the second one is like someone realizing that the Russian Roulette game is being played with Real Bullets

galoogamelady:

juxtavera-deactivated20230110:

this is what you bitches want right?

chaosvanquished:

Help someone told me about a rude person and I guess she wanted to say narrow-minded but also had cold-hearted on her brain so she said “he was so narrow-hearted” and I’ve been whispering it to myself ever since. Narrow-hearted. Narrow-hearted. Narrow-hearted. An indifference or unwillingness to be kind or helpful to others borne by a general inability to relate to others or judge based on context and individual information.

reddsrobots:

Dcatober day 8: Plaything

letatlin:

malpensante:

maid-photographer:

The more I get back into doing creative stuff the more I understand that one Fujimoto quote

for anyone wondering about the second quote:

snowysaur:

mercats

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crimson-chains:

New deer!!
This one a bit spooky ^^